Remember back to your dating days? Perhaps you were seeing someone and decided to break it off and, in the midst of that tense discussion you pull out the infamous "it’s not you, it’s me".

In the classic TV show Seinfeld, George Costanza faces that age-old excuse:

The phrase "it’s not you, it’s me" really is an excuse. It’s an easy way to get out of a difficult conversation without having to give the real reason.

There are two places in business where this happens all too often:

When you’re reviewing an employee and when you’re firing them.

In both of these scenarios, employees deserve the "straight goods" and your business requires that you don’t give them "it’s not you, it’s me". In this blog we’ll talk about how to review employees. In the next blog we’ll talk about what to do when you have to drop the proverbial employment axe.

Reviewing employees: I’ve been on both sides of the table. I’ve reviewed others and I’ve been reviewed. Reviewing others is difficult – perhaps more difficult than being reviewed – because you have to tell someone the honest truth and then see them again every single day after.

In those situations, the truth can be hard to tell, and hard for the employee to take. So here are some ways to frame your conversation so that you don’t do irreparable damage to your professional relationship (and potentially to the job the employee is doing).

1. Make sure your review is specific. This will help you keep the conversation focused on particular tasks or actions rather than on generalities like "I’m not happy with your approach to work". Divide your review into the actions that an employee takes on a day-to-day basis and review them for that activity. If you use a performance scale, don’t make the scale 1/100 because that is way too broad. Use a 1/5 performance scale and make sure that you have outlined what each point is.

2. Make sure your review is well documented for both the good points and the bad points. It’s much easier to say "your performance has been unsatisfactory" when you can point to the various measurements and evidence that would suggest that. (Bonus tip: Make sure that they know what you’re measuring them on FIRST!)

3. Don’t try to get the bad stuff out of the way first so you end on a good note and don’t try to leave the bad stuff until the end or your employees will dread every review. Just deal with something as it comes up in your review, good or bad.

4. Since you expect great performance, help your employee know how to get "5/5" on every measurement. This takes a lot of pressure off of your delivering bad news because, when an employee gets a 4/5 you can follow up with "and here’s how you can achieve a 5/5 for next time"; and when the employee gets a 1/5 on something you just follow up with the same comment: "and here’s how you can get a 5/5 the next time". Give your employees constructive and actionable steps for every point of their review.

Reviews aren’t easy, especially if you will see your employees regularly. But if you keep the conversation pointed at measurable results and actionable future tasks, your review will go much more smoothly… because it IS them, not you!!

Contemporary VA

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